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The Stages Of Grief

Grief is individual to the person. There is no right or wrong way to go through the grieving process. However there are some common stages that people tend to travel through when grieving.

Shock    

Our initial response is usually shock or disbelief... numbness

Denial    

It just cannot be ... It is not possible

Bargaining 

I have learnt my lesson.. I promise..I will do my best .. just let it not be so..

Guilt    

is painful and hard to deal with. This is when you feel a deep responsibility for something you have neglected to do for.. or you feel that something you have done has led to this which is overcome when you realise that people make their own choices..

Anger   

is another big factor which seems to be necessary in order to face the reality of life and to then to get beyond it. Anger is a natural stage through which we must pass. Your anger may even make you feel guilty, or it may be because your own life continues whereas their life is over.

Depression

 is a stage of grief that comes and goes. Knowing this, be prepared to give yourself time to heal.

Resignation

is a late stage. It comes when finally you accept the truth.

Acceptance and hope!

Understand that you will never be the same you have had a new life experience..

you have a changed perspective.. one that can be empowering.. .

What Can I Do ?

It is most helpful to share your feelings openly and honestly with someone. This may be a close friend, a relative or a skilled counsellor. ‘There is much to be said for ‘dumping’ as it can lead to processing and examination of feelings.

Most of all be kind and patient with yourself.

You are an individual. You will grieve in your own way.

You are hurting.. admit it to yourself and to others

People will want to help.. accept it.. ask for it

Talk to your friends, your family

You have suffered a loss. Accept that you need to deal with it.

You will have bad days .. not all days will be bad .. things will get better.

Look after yourself by resting, exercising and eating well.

Set yourself a daily and weekly plan and try and stick with it. Routine is a great help.

Do something nice for yourself or accept ‘treats’ from others..

Plant a tree, care for a pet.. give and value life.

Know that there will be sensitive days, anniversaries, birthdays, be prepared be with someone.

Reach out to others who need help.

Resist making any major life decisions.

Journalling is a great benefit to many.. just write what ever comes into your head.